I like my sex mixed with concussions.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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