I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize
