Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
