He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I will pee on everything he values.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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