I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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