I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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