dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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