The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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