What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
