Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
