mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
