he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize
