Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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