we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
where are you?
Hypothermia
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
