It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
