I feel like I'm in dance class right now
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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