I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
