Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
