yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
This is classic penis vs brain.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize