love makes seman taste better
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
