I love black thongs
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
