O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
