who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I've blown a few things in my day
what day is it and did you see me today?
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
