Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
