okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
