im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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