i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
