she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize