we have pet lesbian snakes
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
