My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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