the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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