Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
