SEEEEXXX PLEASE
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
