Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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