He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
