That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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