I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
