good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
Randomize
