Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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