lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
