did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
