I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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