i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
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