call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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