so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
