im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize