Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
