Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
You're earring is so big in my mouth
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
