..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
look no pants
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Randomize
