tell your sister to shave her snatch
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
