3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
