in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
