Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize