you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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