I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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