Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
