my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
