Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
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