My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
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