You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Randomize
