i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize