So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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