Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
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