I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Actions speak louder than pants.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
