you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Randomize
