I'm really into asian looking animals
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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